


Let Me Fall (No)

by ScarletPotter



Series: Avengers Oneshots [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Protective Natasha Romanov, Suicide Attempt, daisy johnson is sad, daisy johnson makes a new friend, natasha romanoff helps, safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 21:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18725128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletPotter/pseuds/ScarletPotter
Summary: Natasha Romanoff finds someone perched on the rooftop, looking down. She knows that look, she’s been there before. It takes one to know one. There’s a gushing red in her ledger, but this one, she can save.Let's just say that at the end of the day Daisy Johnson makes a new friend.





	Let Me Fall (No)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's Sarah! There's a slight mention of homophobia in this, but other that there aren't any trigger warnings!
> 
> Happy reading!

The mission was rough, something that Natasha Romanoff hates to admit. But it was. She almost died back there. Two agents died on her watch. She shakes the gruesome image out of her head. Her ledger is filled with red, it’s not dripping, it’s gushing. And according to her, rightfully so. 

She’s closed off, no doubt. But that’s the exterior. The Red Room trained her to be like marble, do not break. Bend, but do not break. Breaking demands punishment, indicating weakness. She was always strong, which made it easy for Madame to recognize her pretending to be weak. To avoid the graduation ceremony. Something that continues to wander. 

It’s the thoughts like that that had her contemplate, why not just end it all. A ledger overflowing with red. She cannot bear a child, what other purpose does she have, besides to infiltrate? 

As she walks the abandoned streets, the empty void brings serenity. A concept the former assassin loves. Tranquility. Acceptance. 

Her eyes, trained to the very core, miss nothing. The bird perched upon the trees, the couple watching a movie together, a child sleeping in his bed, a figure dangling off the rooftop. A figure dangling on the rooftop? She might as well check it out, feeling a wave of familiarity run through her. 

She enters the apartment complex, delicately pushing the button indicated for the rooftop. Within a few minutes, the elevator softly dings, indicating her arrival to the rooftop. Natasha steps out, greeted by a cold breeze. It’s cold, but she’s unfazed. Her jacket is somewhat warm, but it’s still cold. She’s not bothered, she’s handled much worse. She’s learned that she shouldn’t complain, she should value that she’s still alive, considering all the damage she has done. All the children without a parent, all the parents without children. 

She intentionally makes sounds to let the person that she isn’t alone. She sits a foot apart from the person, sitting cross-legged. She gazes out into the deep vast sky, admiring as the city that never sleeps comes to life at the early hours of three am. It’s something that’s always intrigued her. Natasha hardly sleeps, if so, not for long periods of times. Something that she loves about the Big Apple.   
The girl sighs, “It really is a beautiful view from up here.” She sighs again as she rubs her hand to generate warmth as her legs dangle off the edge of the building. Natasha nods, sounding wistful as she agrees, “It is. One of the best.” The girl speaks, “Daisy. My name is Daisy Johnson.” Natasha smiles, jutting her hand out to shake, “Natasha, Natasha Romanoff.” The girl’s, Natasha corrects, Daisy's eyes widen, “You’re the Black Widow!” The awe in her face makes Natasha chuckle, “In the living flesh.” She asks, “So, what are you doing here, besides enjoying the view? I mean, it is a great view.”

Daisy sighs, “It’s just hard. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be doing, superhero things?” Natasha lightly smiles, “Finished my shift. Funny enough, it’s my superhero instincts that brought me up here. Feeling low?” Daisy nods, “Yeah.” Natasha nods, the memories of the past shining through her green irises. Daisy doesn’t question it, it’s already enough that the Black Widow is here. She gives a little bit, “My mother died three months ago. She was, the best, always there for me, every time I had a bad grade, anytime I had friend issues, she’d always make things feel good, despite how bad things were.” 

Natasha nodded, trying to imagine a kind mother, and felt a wave of sadness. Daisy continued as she kicked her feet, “And when she was gone, it was the worst thing. She needed a kidney transplant. I was the only match, and I did it. But I guess it wasn’t strong enough. Two weeks later, she was dead. The worst part was I wasn’t even there, I showed up one day, at the usual two pm but I was greeted by an empty bed and a sad nurse.” Natasha nodded, remembering the day after she escaped the Red Room. She wanted to find her parents, wherever they were. 

Would they be proud of her? She was the first Red Room graduate, and by the world’s finest. Or would they be ashamed of her, the monster that she had turned into? She never got the answer. She had found two headstones, linked with barbed wire. And that was it. 

Daisy continued, “And my father, he was the opposite of my mother. The slightest error was a reason to lash out.” Natasha nodded, “My father was the same way. It was him that persuaded my mother to send me to the Red Room. Originally, my mother was entirely against it. But my father convinced her that I was wrong, I was messed up, that I needed to be fixed. And soon, she saw it. I watched her sign the paper. I had begged her not too, that I would be good, I would be the best. But she merely shook her head and whispered tightly, ‘No, you won’t.’” 

Daisy gave her a sympathetic look, “I’m so sorry.” Natasha waved it off, encouraging Daisy to continue, and she did. Daisy continued, “My father had blamed me. His exact words were that I had killed her. And I believed it. I was supposed to save her life. I always think that if I didn’t, would she have lived till this day? My father, he always resented me, but this gave him a reason to do so. I began to separate myself from him, finishing high school. That was my goal, finish high school. And I, I discovered my sexuality.” 

Natasha placed a hand on Daisy’s knee, “You don’t have to.” Daisy shook her head, “No, I trust you.” Natasha felt her heart slightly swell as Daisy continued, “I came out to him, that I was lesbian. I hoped he would still accept me. Instead, he lashed out. Calling me a disappointment. He kicked me out. And then I was homeless. Still, am though. I had to get a job to be able to find a place to sleep, food, stuff like that is expensive in the city.” Natasha nodded, relating to the young child. Daisy bitterly laughed, “And he didn’t care that his fifteen-year-old kid was living on the streets. I went to get my stuff, they were all gone. Sold.” Natasha dipped her head down, the two girls really did have a lot in common. She remembered the first full month. Her parents had come to visit, to ensure some progress was done. She had asked for her belongings, in which her father had snorted, “Filth like you do not deserve anything. Your stuff is sold, to people who actually deserve nicities.” They never came back to visit. 

Daisy began to tear up, and Natasha pulled out a crumpled tissue, in which she had thanked her. Daisy continued, “I, I had to d, drop out, and then, my boss fired me.” She broke out into sobs, “I, don’t know what to do anymore. Wouldn’t it be easier to just end it all?” Natasha took the sobbing girl into her arms, gently patting her back. Affection was not her strong suit, but she was going to give it a shot. Natasha spoke, “It’s alright, you’ve been through some shit, but it’s going to get better, trust me. God’s going to reward you big time. You want to know how I know that?” Daisy nodded as she gently pulled back. 

Natasha inhaled and exhaled. “In the Red Room, we were trained to dehumanize ourselves. To be perfect, to play a poker face, execute and kill. Serve, for we are nothing. And it had worked. They said that I was the best student. The others were envious of me, they hated me. But I hated it even more. I fell into their web of lies, believing that they were the good guys, and I killed people. The parents, the children, the people, and, how they weep. I was the definition of the devil. I had a high kill count. I’m not proud of it. I was a monster. And then, they had sterilized me. The final completion of turning me into a monster. I had to live with my sins, with my guilt, and I couldn’t get the happiness any woman would love to have. It was branding in a way, a constant reminder of what I was. People weren’t so trusting of me. SHIELD thought that at some point, I was just going to kill them. I had thought that SHIELD was going to kill me. I thought that I was going to suffer, and in some ways I did. But, I went from the world’s deadliest assassin to an Avenger. Someone who dedicates their life to avenging the people. And that’s what I intend to do. The red in my ledger? I’d like to die with it all cleaned out.”

She paused, “I’ll be honest with you, there were times when I thought of ending it all. I was a monster, a killer, and I didn’t have anything to give. I couldn’t reproduce, the world was just stuck with Natasha Romanoff. I had no attachment, what difference would it make? I cut, I sat on buildings. One night, I was so close to letting myself fall, but I had a friend who brought me back to life. Hawkeye, he saved me. I owe him a great debt. And soon, the sun came out, the days became less bleak, and I found myself smiling. Sometimes the past comes to haunt me, but I think of what I have accomplished today.”

She swallowed, “And you, Daisy, you have done so much. You had a father who wasn’t your biggest supporter, you immediately volunteered to save your mother’s life, you continued school despite feeling broken and alone, you managed to survive throughout all this shit. You’re a fighter Daisy, and I know it. Don’t. At least not today. I can’t lose another friend. Yeah?” Daisy nodded, “I won’t if you won’t.” Natasha smiled, “Deal.”

Perhaps she was as good as the emotional thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Be sure to leave comments and kudos!


End file.
